The Problem With Fear

As I am looking through the internet I am seeing from some a great fear and sadness as we descend into the dark time of the year.  This is not uncommon at this time.  The Chaos energies of the harvest, our bodies need to prepare for the winter, often wind us up, make us uneasy.  We wonder what lies ahead, as all our ancestors did as they watched the plants die back, the animals preparing for the winter.  Fear, if we listen to it, is an excellent teacher.  We should acknowledge and accept our fears, know that through them we are kept safe.  Still, feeding fear, making it grow past what is reasonable, takes the control away from us.  We give up our own power when we start seeing everything around us as "bad".  We turn ourselves into victims when everyone is "out to get us".  That false belief is a cry for importance; "I must be important if someone will waste their energy to be out to get ME."  This trying to be a victim, trying to blame others for our life's ills, leaves us helpless and often with very little hope.  It destroys our chance to use our own energies to fix things.  Which also may be a reason for playing the victim.  It is much easier to blame others than it is to work on fixing things ourselves.

Here's the other problem with fear: it is exhausting.  Fear and terror is our bodies way of keeping us safe.  It does this by giving us a burst of adrenaline.  Our lungs and nostrils enlarge, allowing us to pull more oxygen into our bodies.  This makes our muscles stronger and faster.  Our pupils of our eyes allow more light to enter so we can see better.  Our skin becomes more sensitive, often raising the small muscles along the hairs that many call goosebumps or gooseflesh.  Our brain narrows thinking down to the basics, what is needed to survive.  We become non-thinking and stronger than we were.  Essentially our body creates a chemical, a drug if you were, that is stronger than any drug we have ever taken.

Some people like this body-made chemical, this drug.  They like the feeling fear gives them.  They become addicted to their own body's reaction to fear that they make up scenarios to make them frightened.  None of this is a problem until those people begin to believe those scenarios are true.  Then the fear really sets in.  What was once fun has now become a life or death struggle against forces that do not exist except in the imagination of their creator, who fears them. 

Talk about giving up our own power!  The fear keeps spiralling up until EVERYONE becomes the bad guy.  ALL government is bad, ALL big business is bad, ALL rich people want to keep me as a slave, FEMA wants to lock me away, the media only lies.  These people begin to see evidence of evil lurking everywhere, even in the most innocent of places.  They are victims all right, just victims of their own addiction the the fear drug.

But the body can not keep going on this rush.  Adrenaline will eventually wear off, the mind will eventually not be able to find that fear to hold onto.  Then, like all drug addicts, a physical crash happens.  Often the person keeps looking for something to fear and when there isn't anything even more awe inspiring than what they have imagined, they become depressed.  They step back into their life seeing it as mundane and colorless.   They become sad, depressed, melancholy.  This is simply their body's way of coming down off it high, it's way of demanding rest. 

Basically, fear wears us out.  It is that simple.  It is a reactionary emotion, not a long term solution.  It is meant to get us out of danger now! not create a new world for later.  When we turn our control over to fear we have to recoup the loss later.  "Pay the Piper" if you will.

Fear has its place.  We are a species that has been on this planet for generations.  That would not be if we had no fear.  But to let it control us, to make decisions based on it, to seek it out where there is no reason to find it, will not only turn the seeker into a victim, helpless to all things, but in the end it will destroy all it accomplished and then some.  

Run when we need to run, fight when we need to fight, hide when we need to hide, but in the end, step back into the sunshine and let yourself know your own power.  You are not a victim, you are a strong, wonderful person who can change the world.  But only if you stay in control of your fear, not let it control you. 

Moon Rise September 25, 2011

Only a crescent of the moon remains as it rises early this morning.  The dark moon is only a few more nights away.  A ring circles this sliver of a moon--a sign of changes coming.  What does the dark moon of September have in store for us?

Chaos as Teacher

There is always so many things that need to be done on the farm. Horses need their hooves trimmed, gardens needs tending, crops need to be stored away, harvests needs to be processed, wood needs to be split and stacked, chimneys need cleaning, winter pastures need to be set up... Sometimes it seems as if there are never enough hours in the days. The autumn days grow shorter which makes us feel even more urgency. There is an underlying energy of Chaos growing by the second.

Many people dislike this feeling of Chaos, even fear it. Yet Chaos, while not good on a permanent basis, is a great teacher if only we listen to Her. She can excite us, challenge us, make us grow spiritually if we accept Her as simply part of life.

Rest and Peace, two words often associated with Death, are not always good things. They can make us fat and unhealthy and rarely challenge us to do more than do nothing. While they are needed for a balanced life, if we let them take over our lives, we stop growing as spiritual people. We become spiritual "couch potatoes". LOL

Rest when we can, work when we should, and never fear The Lady Chaos. She is the bright hope that makes us prepared ourselves for the coming winter...whatever that winter may be.

The Written Word

For a couple of years now I have been doing YouTube and have enjoyed it a great deal.  Still I was wanting to branch out into the written word.  I tried FaceBook first and found out that I have an wonderful talent for ticking off computers.  Within an hour I had been banned from seeking friends and from even using the search engine.  Less face it, FaceBook is for the computer literate, a member of which I am not.  LOL

So I came here.  A blog is more what I was looking to do in the first place.  Here I can write down more detailed instructions to some of my 'how to' videos and perhaps fill in the gaps that my memory has while I am trying to juggle doing something while shooting it with a camera.  More importantly though this is where I can write down what I am thinking, feeling, the person I am at one particular moment.  Often these point are hard to say out loud.  While writing them I can go back over, reread what I had written, and see if I can make it clearer.  When speaking I often say the same thing over and over with just different words because I don't think I am being clear enough.  The repetition can get boring. LOL Also, sometime writing down how I am feeling is easier to do...a quiet contemplation with only the ticking of the keyboard and the sounds of nature out the window.  My own voice does not distract me, I can again reread it and go back and clarify myself to myself without having to erase a long shot video.

And then there's just the point that I don't like listening to my own voice, something I seem not to be able to avoid in most of my videos.  I sound much better when my voice echoes in my head than I do when it is captured on tape.  I can't be that nasally, can I?  I sound even better when I think my words and don't say them out loud. 

So here starts my written blog.  Hopefully it will go better than my FaceBook page which was an unmitigated disaster.  Hopefully between my armature videos and the written word I find a way to say what is in my heart. 

Thank you for reading.